Sunday, October 29, 2006

What I Know

Kind words are the music of the world - F.W. Faber

The lesson is...to be cool...composed in manner...in everything and not to buckle so unglamorously during trying moments..and..and most importantly, to consciously let go of words with the utmost intent of brokering healing....I know there is so much more to learn from the series of unfortunate events that took place last week, but those I have mentioned are the loudest that ring through my mind..
You see, something big happened in school.
Early Monday morning, a student of mine acted strange. He wore an angry look on his face and was totally rude even before prayers started. I had to ask him to step out because he was bullying a seatmate right infront of me. This same student had figured in so many disciplinary incidents already, so I was apalled that he had the gal to act this way in my presence. Anyway, as soon as he stepped out of class, he started hitting the wall probably imagining that the wall was me... He had this wild eyed stare which freaked out the other lady teachers but not..me. I stood there cool and thinking..drug test..the kid should be administered a drug test..he's probably on something right now...
After his little performance simmered down, I asked him what happened at home early that day and on he went with this sob story, which of course I didn't buy...I could sense something..something else...something called...a lie.
The next day I spoke to a parent who asked me to please investigate his son who went home a couple of weeks ago with mysterious bruises..and just the night before with a wound that resembled cigarette burn....a deliberate cigarette burn mark on the wrist...My radar pricked up and just as soon, I cornered the said student privately. In no uncertain terms I told him that I knew "everything" already and that if he didn't tell the truth I would make sure that the police would have his name as part of those involved. Out he went with the fraternity story..A story that shocked me to the core....something was going on in our little sweet cozy school that we weren't aware ov'.....
To make a long story short...it has been found out that the seniors were starting a gang..a fraternity of some sort and part of the initiation rites was flagging and burning...(Two parents have even threatened to sue for physical injury). Student after student after student was investigated until we came out with a concise story of everything. The aftermath of this left about 4 students expelled and eight more in suspension....sigh!...
It has been a very tiresome week indeed...Ah' and have I mentioned?... one of those students expelled was the one whom I asked to step out of class...He was deeply part of the group.
This is just a shallow rendition of how deep rooted and alarming the situation is. We have not had this before and are aghast that this transpired.
You know, It may be a selfish thought...but I am thankful that my children are who they are. Sure they may be incredible pizza gobbling ,computer games freakies ...and my house shivers and rocks from blaring radio and guitar tunes...But they have never given their parents shame.....Their dad nor I have never been summoned in school for their behavior..they get good grades...and prefer lounging at home than running around with questionable kids....I don't hear them vocalize I love you to me....sometimes I wish they would...but even if they don't....It's okay...I don't have to hear it....
I know now that they do...

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

You said,
"and was totally rude even before prayers started"...

I took a deep breath as I read that- there are no prayers, of any sort in our schools. We pray in the car on the way to school.

There is a malevolent spirit it seems- that covets our children. I suppose this is nothing new- but it is shocking to me when I see it elsewhere because I don't see it in my home. This is no place for ugly words, or rude behavior, or unforgiveness.

In truth- there is no place in the world for such behavior...but here we are, sinking in it.
You are in my thoughts today-
"brokering healing..."
Indeed you are~

Hannelie said...

Scary stuff Lux. Poor kids. Where did they 'loose' it all. I always wonder when and where did things started to go wrong for them.
Glad to hear how great your boys are, mine is starting High school next year and I am so scared for my baby!

Sue said...

That's a scary story and very pleased it has been nipped in the bud. Your comments on my blog now make sense!

You should feel very proud of yourself - you have been instrumental in breaking up this gang, hopefully before it got completely out of hand.

I, too, moan about my son always being on the PC playing games but at least I know where he is!

My goodness, what a month you are having!

Tammy said...

So sad! You however are very blessed ;)

Anonymous said...

lux,

That certainly was one big papaya that came flying your way!. And you didn't dodge it. You caught it and punched back.

..I feel the same way about my children.

X. Dell said...

I'm not sure if I understand everything here, just yet. I get the impression that (a) gang activity is a significant social problem where you live, (b) drugs are often involved with gang activity where you live, and (c) both drugs and gangs are illegal where you live. Is this understanding correct?

I'm curious to know what will happened to the students who were expelled. Will they be sent to prison, and if so for what charge? Will they be able to graduate from a different school, or get some type of equivalency degree?

Id also be curious to know what kind of drugs you look out for, and where they come from (if you know).

I feel bad that you had to face that situation, and you undoubtedly acted appropriately in response to it. You obviously have a need to protect non-gang-affiliated students. But I'm also guessing that you are also concerned about the welfare of the bad papayas.

Lady Lux said...

X:DELL:

I live in what I could say a bit of un upper middle class neighborhood..a big subdivision with private guards, our own roving police patrol in the evening...we have 4 major highschools inside our subdivsion compound. Inspite of the security we still have usual problem with robbers and drugs and gangs although it isn't as obvious as in other places...

the most available drug is what we call here "shabu"..the poor man's cocaine....kinda' like a white powdery stuff you can snort..marijuana "dubie" is also available...and something called ecstacy ( I think this is more expensive..)...I've heard of hash though I dunno' exactly what it is...rugby..yah' street kids snort it....I have yet to look up the components of this substances...

Anyway....we have an anti hazing law here...a couple of years back several students from prominent families lost their lives while undergoing initiation rites..this bolstered the legislation of such laws..and for non government universities to put a reign on fraterities. Where my son studies..being a member of a frat is enough grounds to dismiss you...except in their college of law..

In our school..being part of a frat is also a ground for dismissal....Simply because we do not want any of our studnt sin volved in a fraternity war which often happens when one is part of such a group....

What bothers me is that the one kid who started this idea..was actually in troule...he is being hunted down by another frat for something I don't know what...but he is being threatened..In order to have back up, he started recruiting from among his peers so that if worse comes to worse he has a group to fight for him....

I feel bad for the kid..drats I dunno' what's gonna' happen next..We are on a week long Todos Los Santos vacation...so I dunno'...all I knw is that he's not comin' back to school.

Schaumel: I am just so relieved that they aren't involved in anything detrimental to their studies..

Tammy: Oh' thank you so much...

Sue: gawd!..you should see my kids..with the PC thing...but I'm thiking maybe I should learn what they're playing...hmmmm

hannelie: don't worry...I think you know...it all starts in the home...most of the kids involved had parents who weren't that around...

Mayden: Yes prayers are said over here...we are a baptist school but we respect those of other denominations and religions..In our government schools there is also prayer...yes...come to think of it...prayer is still evrywhere here...and you are right..it is shocking to see things that do not happen in our homes...this is the firts time we've had it and gwad..you should have seen the panic in our faces!..

Anonymous said...

I would like to move to where you are~ for more reasons than one :)
I wonder if GSK has a plant/office over there :)

Our beloved dog as re-surfaced- go see :)

Anonymous said...

lux ... i fear mayden is right - some malevolent spirit covets our children. here we have had in recent times some unspeakable violence commited by children even too young to be charged under the 'young offenders act' ...!!

its is truly scary: three 10 or 11 yr olds lock a disabled kid in a wooden shed and set the shed on fire. some other young kids taunt a little girl so much, in fact goad her to hang herself.

these incidents have nothing to do with drugs or gangs. and they were perpetrated by seemingly 'normal' looking kids. where do they learn such hatred and hostility?

scary indeed. makes me appreciate my own son and what a good human he turned out to be.

thinking of you ... i will write you sometime soon :D

X. Dell said...

I don't know what rugby is, either. Ecstacy, however, is very popular here. The young take it at these huge dance parties, called 'raves.' It neurochemically stimulates the part of your brain that controls feelings of love. Consequently, those who have ingested it feel very loved and loving. They often form these huge hugging rings (puddle cuddles), and have sex with each other at the drop of a hat.

Problem is, it severely damages brain cells, more than marijuana or hash (a more potent part of the cannibis plant where marijuana comes from). And it also activates the part of the brain that makes you grind your teeth. A lot of ravers around here buy baby pacifiers to save their teeth. It's even become a style. They wear them around their necks, on chains (like necklaces).

Thanks for the information. That helps me get a grip on your situation.

Lady Lux said...

Mayden, Pink and X:

funny thing is....you know...this kids aren't really "bad" or you know, high risk...They've been in the school for atleast 3 years..they're steeped into Bible studies...they have a pastor...chaplain..I mean..I'm still really questioning why this boys went this far...but thank goodness not far enough to create something they will regret for the rest of their lives.

What you just told me pink is like wow..unimaginable!..shocs...the question is why?..why?..why?...

um..X..rugby is some sort of solvent ...kinda' like a sticky stuff that is used as an adhesive..the street kids snort it...

It's a week long holiday here..and I haven't been blog cruisin' that much...I plan to do some tonight before sleeping...happy to see you here!..:))

Anonymous said...

wow... Its a lot scarier to be a teacher than I ever thought! Do you ever worry about the student coming after you? Ugg How old are your students?

I am 100% with ya about my kids... they arent perfect, but I wouldnt trade them!!

Anonymous said...

it sounds like that rugby stuff is like crystal meth ... nasty stuff that's made from solvents, etc ... bad bad bad.

Anonymous said...

re: ecstasy - the greatest damage it does it messing with the neurotransmitters in the brain that regulate emotion. it basically causes the brain to use up all the 'feel good' hormones it has ... and that means that some people, depending on their brain chemistry, can suffering severe depression because of this. sometimes this can be irreversible, and these people will need antidepressants to counter the effect.

Anonymous said...

lux - regarding your students ... all that is simply not a substitute for the thing kids need most - their parents undivided attention and time. my husband and i did not have a lot of $ to buy our som lots of stuff or lessons or whaever ... but we gave him the most valuable thing we could - ourselves and our time. i wonder if acts such as this are a kid's cry for ... something?

regarding the incidents i told you about. why is indeed a good question. i dunno. the little girl in the story died. i think she was 11. and she had been bullied so badly. the boy survived the blaze - a passerby rescued him from the burning shed - he, being disabled, could not walk out of there without help.

regarding drug abuse. here, in our remote northern communities - ie indian reserves - there is a terrible solvent and gasoline sniffing problem. there is so much despair, rage, and nothingless amongst the young up there, and gasoline is in ready supply. so they sniff. to the point of rendering themselves invalid. its all so very sad. i think i may write a blog post about this ... thanx for your inspiration.

it makes us appreciate our kids, doesn't it, and the time we spent raising them?

Anonymous said...

clarify - 2nd-last para: nothingness

Lady Lux said...

kate: I was a bit afraid that the kids might strike out on each other outside school....like..they might gang up on those who squealed on them...we spoke to their parents about this..we also told them to stop loitering in places where they might meet trouble...the cigarette burn was some sort of symbol and if another gang see's that on them...owww'...trouble a brew'..as for me..I just realized how my position as a teacher can be a bit dangerous...but i think we've nipped everything...I do warn my kids not to hang around certain areas though...

pink:...gosh...wow...like...so much about ecstacy...a drug to make you feel love...wow!...no wonder showbiz people over here and yeah'...just like waht X said...the kids over here take during parties....we had a very young very famous actor here who died because of it a few years back...so sad..

And about the kids...I'e seen a pic of you with your son...you look like brother sister hee!hee!..he has that happy look...and you are so right..time..time with the kids is what is needed...

Over here you see..there's this thing about parents wokring overseas..one in every five family wlll have at least one parent abroad....working for the dollar to send back here...The kids from those families have money...nice cars...latest gizmos'..but they get into a lot of trouble...I have 5 kids come over my house everyday after class..latch key kids....

My husband and I have so many opportunities to do the same..to have one of us be somewhere else....but we decided that what's important is for our family to be together....and its's paying off...my kids are't perfect....(I don't even want to enter their bedroom)...but they're good where it counts...

feel bad about the little girl who klled herself...