Thursday, May 01, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Luxie will not be around for some time. She doesn't know how long she will be gone..perhaps a few days, perhaps a week, perhaps two....worst case - a month. Honestly, Luxie doesn't know if she will be back...as Luxie, that is. Everything is uncertain at this point.
The hand behind the Lady is thinking and considering a few major things. Perhaps this persona has ran its course and needs to go move to cyber isle for retirement? Perhaps the lady just needs a vacation? Perhaps she needs to do taekwondo? ( kidding).....Perhaps.....perhaps.....perhaps....it is time for a new name.
Whatever may....Lady Luxie would like to say that she has enjoyed her little bit of home here...her little bit of space..her little bit of revelations...and all the friendships that have been cultivated. She leaves with a heavy heart hoping she would decide to come back...
But Luxie knows that there are seasons for everything and that change, though painful at times, must be adapted. The Lady Luxie accepts all these.
Somehow she hopes that she has touched your heart in one way or some...and that somehow her presence has counted for something.
Lady Luxie treasures you all...and if there ever was, in any way, a time when she has offended...know that she never meant it to be so....
Take care everyone.
the lady behind Luxie
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 7:38 AM
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Not only is it my wedding anniv today ( thanks for the greets down below folks!) buuut...I just found out that today happens to be...EARTH DAY!! Yaaaaay!!!! Whoohoooo!!! Oh' yeah'..so here I am in my most "Earthlander" attire so fitting for this occasion :))
To be honest, I never really gave much thought about the earth thingy' celebrations or cared even an iota enough for global warming talks or environmental concerns. I clean my backyard. I don't burn leaves ( like my neighbor's doooooo.....hrmph....not even considering that there's a law against it..but who knows anything about the law anyway eh?). I don't pollute or throw trash just about anywhere.
Hey' really..I'm guiltless!.....
Uuuuh'... just don't peek underneath my sink where I keep mounds of plastic soda containers and plastic grocery bags that will surely, without a doubt, find their way soon enough into our gut wrenching stinking overused landfills wheeeeeere..... the poorest of our urban poor clamor to rummage through the contents of Manila's garbage.
Oh' and a couple of my aerosol fresheners don't count. What's two anyway eh??
It's real nice though watching the "green" people talk their stuff, I empathize enough. It's even more interesting to see clips of "Greenpeace" folksies and some other earthy geeky people sometimes being hauled by the police for"disturbing the peace" I suppose. Why just a few days ago, I even watched ( local news TV) three smashin' sexy hot lettuce wearing ladies ( a Filipina, a Canadian , and an American), all members of PETA ( People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) being shooed by the cops ( to the dazed amusement of the watching throng) who all looked totally like "lost" and not so sure how to handle three super scantily attired posing pretty ladies in veggie bikinis all smiles while shouting about going vegan..ha!ha!ha!ha!hee!hee!.
And we are barraged by reminders to conserve..conserve..recycle..recycle..I know that already... As far as my subconscious is concerned.
Then I saw THEM! I was sooo just moved and just...really heartbroken. SEALS. Seals in Alaska struggling for "iceberg space". Where did all the icebergs go??? Which reminded me of dolphins...our own dolphins over here.
You see, a few years back we went to this pretty island...and on the way there a school of dolphins started cruising beside our boat after which, they all but proceeded to somersault...awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then suddenly from nowhere...we saw garbage...g.a.r.b.a.g.e. in the open seas!!!! Opeeen seeeeaaas!!! Can you believe that??...
And those poor dolphins had to swim through the floating debris of sandwich wraps and soda cans ( I distinctly remember the Pepsi can) and so much...just so much more unbelievable.... muck. We can only surmise that the garbage came from the surrounding islands. All resorts. Definitely, it was resort garbage.
The cheery boatload of locals and foreign tourists all fell silent. We just stared and stared and stared...at the poor dolphins. I think in some way......we all were collectively upset and sad and maybe...yes, felt a tinge guilty......even if it wasn't our garbage and didn't have anything to do with it. I feel sad right now thinking of this. Makes me feel like we're heading the way of the Dodo.
And for the first time I'm contemplating...the way things are going right now...if we all don't do something...the smallest something...if I don't do my smallest something...we all will become like those poor seals...struggling and begging for space.......in a plundered murdered world that has lost all its dignified human semblance of a breathing..... living..... habitable earth.
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 12:12 PM
Monday, April 21, 2008
While rummaging in my closet last night for a book I could only vaguely remember putting there, I unexpectedly found an old diary of mine from ten years ago.
Pleasantly surprised and totally curious, I flipped through the crispy black lined pages and was, in an instant, oddly led to March 12, 1998. This is what I scraggly scribbled a few days after turning 30.
- Success for me is the ability, or my ability to live each day positively. I have dreams and goals and ideas of what I'd like to be 20, 30, 50 years from now. However, what I would label success to be is to live each day joyfully, positively and actively. I would think a day successful when I have been able to do all my responsibilities at home..from taking care of my children, to taking care of husbands needs, to taking care of my home and at the same time, having enough qualiy time with myself.
Success would be my ability to be calm in the course of pursuing each day, not yelling or even thinking negative thoughts specially about family and friends. Being able to give inspiration and compassion towards each person I meet would be a remarkable area of success for me. Getting organized and disciplined enough to do the things I truly love to do like reading, or writing, or planting, or even praying...would make me a success in my own eyes. -
Reading this came as a jolt of surprise for me, especially considering that today, April 21 is Hubbzy's birthday and tomorrow, the 22nd is our 20th year of being together and 19 years of being married.
This entry ten years ago was written by quite a young me. Honestly, I am amused. Amused to find, that in a general sort of way, this is how my days have been...but not always so...And this is how I am...but not quite so....so much has happened in between.
The sheer innocence of how I wrote this..the conviction and the simplicity of it all hit me full blast...and I smiled at the memory of a long time ago...because in the flurry of days and the riot of responsibility( ies) and the hunt for needing things I have somehow forgotten really...what success.... real success truly meant for me.
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 7:44 AM
Friday, April 18, 2008
Sunny streaked windy day my part of the world and the mango tree outside my bedroom window is swaying funny to the tune. Pweeetty!
My mind is on a boat though. I mean, I'm thinking of a boat. Not a cruise boat..no...I'm not going on any...Not a speedboat no...haven't ridden on one...Just thinking of an ordinary boat bubbing along in the sea...pushed here and there by the kind of wind I feel right now....swirling..circling..bending over on one side then the other...seemingly out of control one moment then gently gliding the next. I am that boat.
Everything about me is just floooooating. Happy one moment, weepy the instant next, angry a second over, puzzled the minute after, loving the next and apathetic afterwards. I am a nuclear barrel of sizzling emotions. Okay....nuclear is a bit over the top...I'm sticking to " I am a boat " twirling in a whirpool made just for me. Come to think ov' it..I am the whirpool too!
But this morning my yoga instructor was just so wonderful. Oh' gawd' how I admire women who have had years of resiliency and just a whole load of discipline to shape themselves. This lady is powerful I tell you. Her buttocks are firm and not a darn thing is swinging from under her arms...shucks'...
Well this morning she made us do half an our of "tribal dance" that incorporated cha cha (?) and a whole lot of arm swaying and hip grinding and feet moves. For the first time ever I actually...was able to follow somebody's dance steps!YAY! This was followed by yoga poses which stretched me to a twang. Slow mindful breathing and a moment of meditation ended the program.
I felt so light hearted and positive on my way home. For once I was able to appreciate the prettiness of my neighborhood again...the cute houses and lushness of trees..the quaint peaceful newly renovated - so zen like - Catholic church which is always open to anyone who would like to have a sense of quiet...the chirping birdies saying hello to me...then the welcome bark of my poodle and the smile of little yellow flowers sitting on my window sill. Sigh.
There's lots to do I know, and once in a while this little heavy thug in my heart pulls me back to melancholy. Have no idea where "mel" is coming from but I'll just let it be. Later in the afternoon ( after the ping pong table arrives - Hubz bought one) I'll take a nice walk around the community park. I'll bring "mel" with me....then maybe it'll find the park pretty enough to be left off there...
swinging perhaps, on the biggest acacia tree.
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 11:47 AM
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I'm tired and fog brained. My eyes are blurry too!! Yes, I know I need to have them checked again, but of course, typical me, I've been putting it off for the next day and the next. Sigh.
You know, with both boys out of school now, it seems like all I do is cook for most of the entire whole day. I like doing it though. Just a little momsie pampering from me. Right now they're digging into a pile of pancakes I just made. This whole house smells of pancakes...I bet the neighbors can smell it too! No syrup though. Sorry about that. Didn't realize we were out. Anchor butter will do.
While I was doing my pancake thing in the kitchen, I recalled something I read in my mail the night before. It was from Trishia, a former student of mine who just recently graduated from high school. I was her teacher for four long years.
Trisha is going to the United States. She will be our representative in the ACE National Student Convention to be held there. This convention is actually a competition amongst chosen students from around the globe vying for medals in the categories of music, arts, sports, spelling, literature, speech, history....you name it. Kinda' like a mini- Olympics. My student is a classical piano player. She is really good and will compete under the category of music.
I am so pleased and happy for this young lady. Even happier that she thoughtfully took the time to write saying that she misses me ( aaaawwww...) and that she remembers everything that I have thought her. Wow!! She thanked me for having helped her those years. Someday she wishes to see me again. Sweet.
Prior to her letter, another student of mine, wrote to me a few weeks back. I remember this lovely girl and how hard times visited her family. With a father who deserted them, clearly she had no choice but to transfer to a nearby public school. I felt so sorry for her because, unfortunately, most public schools here are highly populated and not at all at par with private schools.
Well, I said most because luckily, this particular one she entered was one of the better managed ones and she was properly placed in section one ( honors). This happened a year before I left teaching. In her recent mail, she too thanked me for being instrumental to the honor that she had recently received.
Which brings me to Mayden's post ( click external link) where she threw the question:" What do you want to be remembered for?"
That question really got me thinking.
And I'm writing this because.....well.....there are times I feel like...like...like...ummm'..a duck I suppose....waddling here and there.....quacking....gliding...
And I'm pretty sure there are a few folks out there who wouldn't be bothered to remember me...and a few who would rather not remember me...and the really few who would remember me with a trace of "phew' who....whatever!"
I can't be everyone's fantasy of who, and a perception of how they want me to be. I can't please everyone.
But somehow, through the letters, I felt a tinge validated about the way I've lived my life so far. There will be those who will remember with fondness...forever even I guess. We don't really forget teachers....
As for me...I miss teaching the young. Ultimately, it is they who have truly given generously. It is the youth who have taught me so much about life and about hope.They all continue to teach me....still.
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 3:27 PM
Monday, April 14, 2008
The pie below is a "mushroom and steak pie" from Bag of Beans. It is always served straight from the oven, piping hot and oozing with glory. Funny I remember having a taste of it the day after we watched Sweeney Todd..he! Had Johnny Depp in all his gory in mind when the pie was served. One whiiiiff of this particular pie though and all my fantasized fears went pffffft!
Oh, speaking of Bag of Beans, it has an interesting beverage called "Coffee Alamid". If I'm not mistaken, it is the most expensive and best tasting ( according to published reviews of course..I dunno' really..depends I should say..haven't tasted....yet) brew in the world...costs 300 US dollars per kilo.
This rather interesting coffee comes from a bean (?) found in the droppings of the Philippine Civet ( some sort of nocturnal wild cat I wouldn't wanna' come across with even if it is a high society walking breathing coffee maker...yeeeks!...I can just imagine it asking..."would you like to go Vendi or Grande?"..hee! hee! hee!)
Welp, the beans are filtered, dried under the sun for some days ( I have no idea how long) then roasted for 7 hours. Some swear to the goodness of it all. Know what?...maybe...juuuust maybe I'll try it one of these days....yah!
Snooks..wasn't really going to talk about coffee cats..Dunno' how I got there. I was really thinking of food.
I know I've gained weight..I know I have been indulging..I know also too darn painfully well that we, over here, are having some sort of food crisis. It is not lack of food per se..only everything is becoming wildly expensive..faaast! I was in total shock to find how little three thousand pesos worth of grocery is. I used to have about 7 bags for the same amount just a month ago. Last Saturday I came home with 5!! Shuuuucks'...I didn't even get the expensive stuff like cereals and muesli...no Australian beef..no chicken drumsticks...no ice cream. Five bags good for just a little more than a week...sigh.
And rice...wow'..rice has skyrocketed! We are experiencing a shortage of rice here and that is soooooo baaaaaad. For us Filipinos, not eating rice is tantamount to not eating anything at all. I luuuv' rice. I cook it in different ways...in fact I bought a kilo of brown organic which I intend to saute' with chicken and carrots and raisins...I can live on rice and roasted tomatoes and still be completely happy. This whole world rice shortage is not good at all.
You know, if you're holding a sandwich right now..pizza...fries...chips...anything at all that is edible..just smile and whisper a silent "thank you". That's some sort of a good vibes whisper to the Universe...
maybe...it's just hurting... this world we live in...
maybe it wants to be noticed..appreciated....and um'....a thank you from everyone who is about to bite onto something delicious could be just the healing soothing prayer this exhausted Mama World needs.
* Collage Rice Photo
* Other Photo: Adobo ( cooked it me'self)
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 11:41 AM
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Just sitting here being totally contemplative surrounded by papers and folders and receipts...cool! Tax season brings the "zen" out in me...my mind wanders and flutters the way a butterfly would..
Hey, didn't somebody sometime ago say something about a butterfly's wings causing a tsunami?!..Chaos theory I think that's called.Wheeew'...glad I'm no butterfly!...Gawd' just think if I had wings. Yah! If I had wings I'd flutter on to Foamy's porch coz' you, Lady Foamy, have got to taste this pie!!
Aw' shucks....I wanted to write something..well.."intelligent"...okay..."smart" sounding. Was planning to expertly cluck about how I am so into mindfulness and that I really am grounded into finding "IT"..Kinda' like the "it" that means an.."it" phase (??). Its not happening...this "it" soliloquy that I had a while ago...Something inside of me ( let's call it the divine "Luxie Force" ) is telling me to cut the crap and just say "it" as "it" is.
Thing is, I've been thinking ( yaiiks!) like..in the middle of this swarm of bond papers I've had a realization that...maybe some.....things....people...situations....some old way of thinking....some old faded belief...even an old pair of shirt have to be let go...set free. I have this thing about clinging. I do it to a lot of things.....even routine.
This is as far as I can say about this, aside from, well..it's like I'm opening up my chest as well as my brains and just reaching in...sorting through the pile and clutter and throwing out unnecessary memories and heartaches and limiting thoughts...rearranging everything else in neat sorted files...much like these files I have in front of me. The resulting outcome would be...space...clean space.
Hmm' I think I like the idea of open space....blue space...
There are a lot of changes transpiring in my life...I think if I just take a moment of de - cluttering soul silence..there will be a wider span of space for a whole lot more of this pretty changes to come.
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 4:13 PM
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
How else can I describe the past days that have transpired!? Absolutely significantly fantastic!
Yes, the trip to the beach was sooo cool! Buut..I haven't uploaded the pics just yet so that would have to wait for a while...tsk! However, what was even more fantastic was having met this wonderful multi - talented blogger, writer and counselor, Cathy of "Cathy By The Sea" ( links to follow later)..clap!...clap!..clap!!!
I was a little bit "shy" ( nye' he!he!he!) at first, but sensing how just true a person she is set me totally at ease...just like meeting an old friend you haven't seen for a while.
Thanks...thanks..thanks.. Cathy for the beautiful time last Monday!
And to all of you..have a wonderful day..whatever day fate may have brought you here...mwah!
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 10:12 AM
Friday, April 04, 2008
Tomorrow we will take a two hour drive to take a peek' at a splashing slice of our dream. There will be fresh sea breeze, the happy lilting burrs of waves, warm fuzzy tickling sand all over our toes...
Bliss! bliss! bliss!
Just a moment ago I was thinking how I miss the sound of the sea in so much the same way I miss my old long lost friends. I can't wait to get there!
I'll be thinking of you all at that exact moment I wave to the waves!
Happy weekend everyone!
...and thank you for the warm comments on my post below :)
Thoughts By Lady Prism at 8:44 PM