Thursday, August 09, 2007

Pity Partying Meeh'

"Words are the soul's ambassadors,
who go abroad upon her errands to and fro."
- James Howell

I'm having a pity party and you're not invited...hrrrmph!...

Better stay put where you are. Stormy weather here in my turf and my grand solo party is in full swing.

Oh'... why am I like this?!?...

I expound on being calm and seeing the beauty in everything and being grateful and all that mush.....then...then.... one silly something and I go swinging in doleful mirth.

I lost my temper.

In doing so I said some words that... in hindsight....were awfully.... crazy.


If that weren't enough.... I acted mighty clown like too...


So just......(siiigh)...totally unluxie like...


Now I'm thinking...
( frowning here)

Could that be the real me?

Could the me when I'm angry be my reality?

It doesn't show all the time...but still...but still...

shudders...

I dance alone to the song of the howling wind.


ps: picture: Chateau 1771 ( El Pubelo - Ortigas CBD )



18 comments:

foam said...

luxie,
sorry, but i'm a crashing this party here. i don't care if i have an invite or not....hrrrmph!...
sometimes we ARE gonna loose our tempers and that's just the way it is.
and that's the way it ought to be.
we can't always be cool, calm and collected. it's extremely unhealthy.
i do hope that you are feeling better.

ps: i had a pity party too yesterday. somebody said some extremely unkind things. my feelings were hurt. but i'm feeling better now.

Mirror Me said...

embrace the emotions n learn from it. its ok to loose ur temper once in a while, take it s a therapy dear ;p

alison said...

aiyaiyai! lovely change in your bloggy home. good chi! :)

anger poppers! happens to me too, i am human after all, i have feelings too. i learn from me mistakes and trying to be more mindful of me doings.

hope you're feeling better now.

butterflygirl said...

your party has been crashed and frankly I must say it is now over...no more pity...breathe...enjoy

Bardouble29 said...

Awwww honey, we all have days or moments that our serene beauty comes crashing down, but that doesn't make us who we are.

Hugs to you my dear friend.

HLiza said...

Hugs to you Lux..we have that once in a while. I do lose my tempers too..not that I never regret them..yet they still happens the next time. You are, just being normal. Hugs again..
(I was in a souvenir shop recently..they sell handicrafts from Asean countries, and I found this beautiful lace hand fan made in Philipines..and I spontaneously think of you..it is so beautiful and artistic..to me it's like you, beautiful, kind and such a pleasure to be with.You are one of a kind, very special to me..)

Jac said...

If you don't loose your temper once in a while...you are a puppet lady.
So relax !!

Amber said...

Is it too late to crash the party? I brought mojitos!

Yeah...I had one of those days last weekend. Okay...so I can blame it on PMS (the devil made me do it!) but I am growing wiser and more insightful and I give myself (and you!) props for recognizing when you've lost your cool instead of old habits of digging in those heels of anger and self-righteousness for the long-term.

Now, take a deep breath, pat yourself on the back and be grateful that you are a living, feeling being. Then pat yourself again for being wise enough to see your errors. Next, make amends w/ anyone you slighted. Finally, make mental notes on how to handle such situations in the future.

Now...have a mojito! :-)

she said...

a situation like this just provides an opportunity for you to be amazingly mature. apologize and then worry no more. oh rain rain! we need it here so badly in the north american eastern southern region.
not to worry lux!

Sue said...

Hey, you're only human! It wouldn't be right if you didn't lose your rag once in a while.

Accept, discuss and move on :-) Have a great weekend!

HLiza said...

I got you an award! Check it out!

X. Dell said...

I'm gonna crash your party too. People have anger. What's more, most usually don't look that pretty expressing it. People usually have regrets about what they said and did.

I don't think getting mad is outside the realm of luxielikeness, unless it keeps going and going to the point where you're always upset with something.

Anger is a necessary emotion, because it compells us to work against something that bothers or upsets us. Maybe the question isn't about getting angry, or not getting angry, but rather about trying to utilize that anger for something constructive.

foam said...

xo

Andromeda said...

hey you are human. don't be so hard on yourself. are you feeling better now?

Princess Banter said...

Can I invite myself to this party then... if you're not inviting me? ;) I'll bring chips and dip (*blink blink*) ;)

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Hey, that's in the past.
How are you feeling now???
It's good to get it out, no?
xo
Blue!

kate said...

looks like I am a crasher of the party too! lol I think we all have these moments... days... weeks even. If there is one thing I could change about myself it would be my temper... perhaps the lesson we are supposed to learn comes to us because we see these negative bits of ourselves come out. If they stayed bottled up inside, we would never know to challenge them and grow!

I really relate to this post!

exskindiver said...

luxie,
i've actually eaten there!
(is that correct english btw?)
allow yourself a moment of being human.
move on.
hey,
i am going to be there this christmas.
any chance we can meet for dinner?