Thursday, September 06, 2007

My Attachments

"Play your part in the comedy, but don't identify yourself with your role!" - Why Lazurus Laughed by Wei Wu Wei

I was reading a chapter on "attachments" before sleeping last night. It wasn't really a new book I was perusing and I've read the same words months ago. However, last night every morsel of letter prismed brighter in my mind. Suddenly I knew what it was all about. I became truly educated in the lesson of attachment so to speak.

But I don't want to talk about attachments to you...merely recalling some years ago how I bravely put in place ( nicely though) a difficult relative who wanted me to confront another kin about the "choices" the latter was making in his life.

"It would fall into deaf ears, I exasperatedly said. Nobody wants to be told how to run his own life...certainly not someone over 30! It would be preposterous to assume that my concern or "advice" is welcome...Why it would be tactless and rude of me to even consider that he is unaware of his faults or errors.....and what if what you see as his mindless ways happens to be his preferred way of I apparently see it?....The best we can do is to encourage and be available when he seeks for help or yes..advice..which I very much doubt would ever happen....

Which brings me back to attachments...and having to learn through painful profitable experience how I am one with those around me yet separate in entity..and I am not them...nor do I own them....and that there comes a point of trustingly letting go..and honoring that in as much as I learn from my mistakes...I too should allow others to learn from theirs...

That is the way of living...and a tipping point of love.


exskindiver said...

great advice, luxie.
great advice.
I read an article recently, which resonated with me as well.
The advice was:

Highly defensive people are like reptiles.
Deal with your reptiles firmly but lovingly.
when they try to envenomate you, disarm them lovingly.
"aren't you the best!"
"you can't mean are just not that kind of person!!!"

etc etc etc.

For some reason, I relate this to dealing with attachments or the act of disattaching.

forgive my ramblings.

Mirror Me said...

sometimes the best 'attachment' is just merely listening n not say anything..dun hafta agree nor disagree..lend ur gd ears, dats wot ive been told of late ;p said...

Very good advice
I like your work a lot

LADY LUXIE said...

Exskindver: What's to forgive?..Your ramblings are sweet and fun to read..Thank you for expressing:>

Mirror ME: Absolutely!

Tee: Thank you:> I hope to read you soon as well!

butterflygirl said... can be so hard to let go

Amber said...

Luxie...I swear, you and I live parallel universes half a world apart, sweet gal! We are dealing w/ a relative who has lung cancer and is undergoing treatment. He has made some very bad choices in his life along the way. Funny how when you're facing death these things come into focus so clearly for all around you. I vaccilate between feelings of utter compassion for him and feelings of utter frustration and anger about his choices. It is almost surreal. Parallel universes. We are all part of the same love-energy, aren't we? I am trying to take the loving approach you do. For a natural-born Type A like me, it is not a natural path, but one for which I strive. Thank you!

foam said...

it's hard to let them fly, isn't it?