Thursday, August 03, 2006

Sage...Thyme and Damask

Him and Me…….

It isn’t a Hollywood love story Mayden….but believe me…there is a story and I’m glad you asked…
Steeped in the middle of hectic responsibilities and priorities…with a home to be kept and laundry to be washed and teenage boys slowly trying to fluff their wings…With recalcitrant changes rapidly occurring simultaneously…. with inner turmoil, questionings, uncertainties and sometimes fear bombarding the inner sanctums of my mind….your question made me all but pause from all these….and instead, indulge myself in thinking about….HIM…

( me….pouring Breeze laundry soap in washer…then turning the knob…facing you afterwards while taking off my yellow rubber gloves….reaching for my goblet of red…sips and…sighs….)

You see….most of the time…it seems more like an affair…with our harried meetings…our super hectic paced lifestyle …our whispered secrets…our conversations kept clandestine in the dark…of revelations….shared dreams, wild fantasies, illusions and fancies…Him…the repository of who I am….in secret…and Me….the repository of who he is…in secret…

It isn’t perfect…though it may seem romantically so as I write and you read….Remember…my friend…I said and repeat …it isn’t…perfect…There are weaved spoons and spiels kept deeply hidden underneath this story….It isn’t even rosy and spectrum bright…It isn’t a compact rational relationship of rules and roles and innocent marital niceties…..

BUUUT …..

it is laced and spiced with the tangent taste of thyme…and sage… With a fragrance that smells of the mystery of incensed damask and passion…..I believe…to this day…with skill and calculated whiffs…. I intrepidly hold captive this man’s imagination…and to this day…he…. holds mine…..

SOOOOO……

I was nineteen and pretty much alone in the world. It was one of those lazy college afternoons that found me walking alone in the corridor for my next class. I caught sight of him…He was seated on a bench hunched with his head bowed down….I remember walking slowly…my eyes hypnotically boring through the waved mush of his tangled dark brown hair….And then…as if sensing my stare… he looked up…..

Oh my!….Oh my!…Oh my!!!!……You should have been with me…...

He… was…like brutal rough handsome!!!……

He lock stared into my eyes…I could read surprise in them…I felt some sort of gasp escape from somewhere within my chest…my heart pulsed with a thud...and magnetically, my eyes battled on with his stare, unwavering in its intensity and lingering onto his lips that were the reddest to behold….I was mesmerized…enthralled….

I so made sure…with the only weapon I possessed…….without a word…without so much as a smile…I made sure…he got the message….It was the longest alluring look I have ever dared ( and will ever dare...) throw any man….This was alpha male…leader of a pack…oozing pure wild testosterone....Something in me went berserk… I…. just….. had to…. have… him!!!…

whew!! !........yeehah!.......ha! ha! ha!

So, I float past this image, and as I did…I saw him in the corner of my eye quirk up a knowing smile then slightly shake his head as if in disbelief….He heaved, reached inside his breast pocket then lighted up a Marlboro!.....Ow yees!......He didn’t walk after me like what nimby pamby boys do……He didn’t try to get my number…Nothing…Nothing….Nothing….I wanted to sashay past him again but of course that would all but destroy the aura of the moment…plus…I would look like a complete fool…Once is enough…Chance would pick up from there…..I was so into the game…and I knew how to play…. tag!

Two weeks of absolute nothing…It was as if this enigma didn’t exist…I even began to question if I merely conjured the moment in my mind…like some sort of hallucination…Maybe he wasn’t a student there…Maybe he was just visiting…who was he?......Where was he?......Didn’t anybody know?....Will I ever see him again?.....

Nothing…

After almost a month…I pass a special training for student teachers and get assigned a room…College of Business Ad…..I enter nervously…It was a class composed of mostly males…Hoots and howls greet the neophyte instructor…I speak and in the most diplomatic manner ask if the class would prefer to have Prof L, a 60 year old veteran take my place…Much to my surprise the whole class settles so I call the roll…..Somebody saunters in…late…guess who???…

Gaaawd!!…my heart almost croaked but I was cool…I was in the point of faint but I stood there valiant asking and pretending to scan my list of students……”And you are??.....”I ask…” Mr. Q” he answers … I went flush red all over …thinking….”my, my…I can wear his name…” That however, was the last I saw of him…for about a month…He dropped my subject.

About 8:30 in the evening…...one September …somebody knocks in the faculty office. It was Major, my gay friend, saying somebody…a member of the “teatro”…wanted to meet me…”outside dahling if you please.

So I follow him err… her ( Major) along aaand……yeeehah!!.... in the same spot where I first saw him…did I see him again…Gorgeous and swooning smiling…..like saying…”I’ve come for you now…” And in shock and delirium…I all but smiled back so naturally at him….so naturally….like we had known each other from somewhere before….like it was something that would naturally happen….like…..destined….like…..now all my heartaches are over…like now…this is the reason the other didn’t work out…like now…I have someone I fit into…my missing puzzle…I can break down my walls…..I won’t be alone anymore….I won’t be alone….I was so happy…For the first time…I was truly happy….

Major looks from him to me and mutters…”Oh, what the heck…I’ll just leave the two of you alone…duh’…I don’t exist here…”

He…this…this dream… extended his hand…and I took it….I will never forget the feel of first holding his hand…….They were warm……he didn’t let go…

( me…looking far off….wondering…)

Come to think of it Mayden…. He has never let go…of my hand…of his smile…of me…..ever since……ever since that night…..no matter what….no matter what…no matter what…I do…poetically, sublimely wrong….no matter what he does…poetically, sublimely wrong….It always comes back to …just him and me…..him and me….

……………just him and me…………in our own secret world………….

…………of just him and me….

( me…raising my glass…. to toast you all…..*clink*…..)

29 comments:

Pauline said...

Now that was one of the coolest mind movies I've seen in a long time. What a wonderful telling!

Aunty Belle said...

Mercy, honey!! Doan ya know an ole' lady might mosey past ya blog and have a heart attack!

Whar' ya been? ...oh, I see, nevermind...but I did miss ya'.

Mayden's Voyage said...

Aunty Belle...a young woman might have one as well~

Heart attack~

Time froze...rolled back- I saw it all- from Vita's projector that illuminated the story and images from her past.

I was there when Lux met "Mr. Q"-
I felt the heat in the exchange of their stares...and the coolness of her composure when he entered her classroom...and the warmth of his hands. HEARD the thump of her heart!

Smitten- both of them..."Sigh".

To hold captive the imagination of a man for so long! You must be a goddess...Or an angel...OR- as I have always suspected- one of the dearest ladies of creation :)
And a husband wise enough to know it too~ :)
What a WONDERFUL story! I am so glad I asked!!! Thank you for sharing it!!! :)

butterflygirl said...

Oh Lux, how beautiful!!!

Sue said...

A true fairy tale - thanks for sharing!

Hliza said...

Oh Lux...this is so romantic! Makes me feel young again..

X. Dell said...

Lux, I envy you. I taught for many years, and that's never happened to me.

I'm glad it worked out for you, though. Sounds like you two were sorta destined to be together.

BTW, I'm happy to see you. Hope things can calm down soon.

Mr. Althouse said...

That was one of the absolutely coolest pieces I have ever read! It was like I was there. You are very fortunate, but you already know that. Perfectly imperfect! Yes! That's what it is. I am as happy for you as I am envious of you. Rock on, Lux.

~Mike

Ben said...

Whatever made you think that you don't have wings? Reading the post before and this latest one I'd say you ARE flying. Thunderstorms, thin air and tornadoes? All in the game. Keep zoomin'.

velvet acid tongue said...

you're a romantic ... great imagery, lux ...

Michelle said...

Wow, i want to buy the book!

SJ said...

That was a great read I hope something/someone like that happens to me someday.

iamnot said...

Nicely done.
I could see you flushing red in front of the class.

boneman said...

Wow, gal. Sounds like yer one'o the lucky ones.

schaumi said...

oh boy, lux.

did your post ever bring back memories of the day i met T. some 23 years ago.
you surely got me to reminiscing.
yes, after all is said and done, after all the ups and down, it's him and me.
or in your case, your sage and thyme, perfect in its imperfectness, relationship that you two share.

Hannelie said...

Just quickly flicking through my blog roll before bed, will come back and read this later...looks interesting!

Percival said...

Inspiring! My next post will have to be on similarly sultry, madcap affair - yet poignant and tragical. Her name, alas, was Hope...

Hannelie said...

Now how romantic is THAT!! I started to read faster and faster! Wow, Lux, you lucky people. Looking fw to the next paragraphs in say...20 years time?

kate said...

I was soooooo there with you through your entire story! Wow! You really told it well! Thank you!

It strikes me that so many people dont even find what you found there... that passion. "THAT" kind of desire and lust... no less to keep it for so long.

So my question to you my friend... Is what is the secret to keeping it alive. How do you keep those sparks and those feelings?

Please share!!

K9 said...

/bark bark bark

smokin' hot luxious! howwwwwwwl and a half hot.

/grrrrrrrrr

snowsparkle said...

this is just what i needed... so wonderfully told.
thanks!

Mr Q said...

Here I am now Lux. I've grown, not mentally though. haha. Just kidding. Passion Explosion Expression, so Lux.

/t. said...

Lux

Adding my voice to the chorus to say, you really do have a way with words -- good stuff

/t.

Libby said...

lux-thanks for visiting my blog! and, this post was so beautiful, i could feel everything!! i'm like kate, i wanna know how to keep it so alive!

boneman said...

Well, I'm glad ya stopt by
But I really don't know why, when ya have yer big, lovin'fellow.
I mean, y'all have a life, while me? Just a pallette knife. And a bowl of leftover green jello.

Well, no matter m'dear, y'can visit whenever, but if ya go missin', well we'll probably all know why.
And we won't hold it against ya, heck! That's wht he'll be doin' and, now, that's a bit too personal, so, I'll fly.

schaumi said...

just dropping in to say heeellooo, lux...

boneman said...

Y'know I keep comin' back
t'see if yer still adding things.
But, the post that is here, explains alot 'bout what yer sings

is all about fer a while
wink wink nudge, smile.

firebird said...

Fabulous photo! Did you take it yourself? (I can't assume anything) It's so evocative--love the color!

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

What a beautifully wonderful story!
I`m also lucky to have found my soul mate. Someone who knows me sometimes better than I know myself and still loves me :)

tea
xo