Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The essence of Me

A few nights back the Luxie family went out for dinner in a pretty place that served Mexican .....It was bliss to just spend time cozying up with my boys...They are all so grown up.....I listened to their stories....The had much to say...Sometimes it amazes me that these awesome human beings came from my tummy...C - section...I got the bikini scar to prove it..and a bit of scratch....And yes...I worry...I fret..I frown and chide myself deep inside for not doing enough for them..like just totally...totally..concentrated on just them....

I'm saying this right now because I've realized some things...Time doesn't fly...time zooms..and whiffs and disappears...Where have all the baby wipes gone?...They're no longer little boys and I have to make the effort to adjust to the change...I have to flow along with them and not insist on how things used to be done...I need to listen....listen...Such a simple word...listen...Sometimes I think I do...listen.....and then realization sets in...I only heard....I didn't really listen. Funny..I teach about communication...yet....I truly need to be the one to be taught.

The past month has been rough...We all seemed to be each on our own flight...our own schedules..our own projects.....our own catching up with individual responsibilities.....There were days when we all got into each other's nerves....pretty heavy one time.....

Which is why I look forward to the 22nd.

Yes...me' Hubz' will take a much needed vacation leave from work...I'm excited about that..I'm excited to just spend time with him..with my boys....I didn't do a lot of decorating this year I must admit.....nor am I thinking of gifts...or shopping.....just yet.... busy and all that...I'll cram I know..I know...

But..

I'm deeply thinking of how I can be a gift to this family....

with my presence..not just physically...

but ....all in essence....

ps. the party was great...

14 comments:

schaumi said...

overly busy schedules on everyone's part do cause stress within a family. but, luxie, just remember...you are not the only one who should be giving of their time...everyone ought to pitch in...hubz too. and kids...

glad you had a good party. and i'm glad both you and your husband will manage to have time together..

X. Dell said...

That's a mighty handsome family, Lux. I'd bet my last nickel that no amount of independence can render it asunder, and that's the beauty part.

Maybe you have given your boys something that other moms couldn't, namely a sense of independence and self-confidence, given through the history of your life. My mother gave that to me, and I'm indebted to her for that.

Funny. But now that I think about this, and the previous posts, I'm beginning to see a lot of similarities between you and my mother. You even look a little alike.

You don't have any family in Alabama, do you?

Tammy said...

I still beat myself up over being a better mother ;) We are only human so go enjoy your precious guy's.

Merry Christmas!

LADY LUXIE said...

Schaumi:..Thank you :>

XDELL: similarities?..really..ah'..I'm sure she's far more better than I am...It would be nice to know your mother..you must have had a good childhood...

Tammy: Hello!..I guess I'll do that:>

Snowsparkle said...

your writing style draws me in like a friend. it shows me how to listen. something tells me you already are a gift to your family. thanks for leaving a comment on my post.

Marion said...

Luxie, I hear my family all the time, but as you wrote in your post...do I really, really listen?

Sometimes I do; other times too many other thoughts come crowding in just when I should be giving my absolute attention to whatever is being said by someone else.

I have to learn to focus on one thing at a time.

Mayden's Voyage said...

You are a gift- to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing you~

Merry Christmas friend!
Hugs and love to you :)

-me :)

Gary said...

Either there is a light fixture above you in the first picture, or your halo is off center. Just sayin...

Hliza said...

You have such a handsome family! Your words made me think back on my kids..yeah..today I wailed and complained about such a fuss they cause..tomorrow I may be missing all these moments!

Hannelie said...

I agree with every one, your family is very handsome. What beautifull pictures, I haven't been around for a wee while and love to come back and catch up with news.
See you around....

Sue said...

You are not alone: time is whizzing by but at least you are aware and are thinking about your guys and how much you appreciate the time with them. I'm sure you are everything to them - in the photos I have seen of you all - you look to be a very close-knit family.

LADY LUXIE said...

hello everyone!!!!

thanks for droppin' by!..I treasure your words and thoughts!...been busy but I think my days are easing up..love you all :>>

Luxie

kate said...

you make BEAUTIFUL babies Lux!! Gosh!! they are just lovely young men!

You wrote: 'I truly need to be the one to be taught.' I so totally agree with that. I also love what you wrote about having to change what you did in the past to adapt to today (to paraphrase badly! lol) I need to focus on that too. I am going to use you as a roll model!! =] I am still not decorating for the holidays though! hehehe

greeny said...

You sound like you don't give your self much credit. It's evident from how you expressed yourself that you think about how to make the most of your time with your family. Like a lot of women(you'll find I like to make sweeping generalizations), you don't believe you are doing all you can. We hold ourselves to a higher level of expectation but we need to give ourselves a break and believe we are doing all we can before we drive ourselves crazy.
I spend way too much time worrying about not giving enough to my kids in all ways. I need to spend more time just enjoying AND listening.
Thanks for a lovely post and have a wonderful time off.