Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Peek'a boo Realizations

Uh' owww'...seems like I'm teetering off balance now...I can just feel it in my bones...don't even have the inclination to blow dry my hair...not good....not good...As soon as I'm done here with all this nitty' gritty' stuff..... I had better sure give myself a little wee' time....

Hopped through some bloggy' sites and it is just so amazing how other people's post seem to be the world speaking for me to keep my wants in check....

A lovely lady who was contemplating about her business wrote about the same things I have been feeling...the changes and the shedding out of the old her...which is what I am going through right now...and she worded it pretty eloquently....

And it's true..a lot of the old me is peeling off..though I feel there are hardened layers of eeeky' paint that need to be scrubbed out of my system.......a decent lack of confidence for one...

Oh, I don't mean I wobble in insecurity or hide...no...not that kind...

What I mean is...confidence in a sense that I believe deep down that I am...um'...err......hmmmmm......lemme' see....thinking thinking....ye'..confidence that I have....you know..."vaaaavoom"......

Ya!..the vavoom to be explosive!!.....


I think part of this questioning stems from what I've been told some time ago....It was somehow communicated to me that I would be in a way compared to a previous speaker that this client of mine had...That this person was like this and like this and I had better be the same...

At first I was kinda' like..oookay...learning experience here...take down notes....

But...now..

The more I think about it...

The more this thought circles and twirls and somersaults inside my spectrum cranium.....

The more an energy of quantum magnitude seems to sloooowly be heating up.... making me spew mental hidden invectives that manifest in the form of plastered pained smiles...and..standing electrified hair....

I don't want to be compared to anyone!!!...

Why'..I am Luxie and no one else!!.

Luxie does as Luxie do!....Don't they know that??....

And right now Luxie doo' needs to shower and order lunch...

And give the dog a drink...and bowl of doggie food...

.....ah'..what profound peek a boo realizations I've learned....


13 comments:

Ana Banana said...

Right on, sweetheart! And don't let anyone make comparisions directed at you, never mind yourself! It took me 40 years to get where I am and to be happy with who I am...insane as I am, I don't give a you know what. I have to be who I am whether people like it, hate it, or love it! It doesn't matter. What matters most is that you be who you want to be, from the inside out. Because that person is really special and different. And different is tops in my book!

LADY LUXIE said...

Oh yes..miss anabanana...will do!..will do!..I just really want to be me.

Thank you :>

X. Dell said...

I can't tell you how many times as a musician I was told to be a certain way, or else. I understand the pressure. But the problem with conforming to hegemony is that one cannot give their whole heart to it, so the chances of pulling off the charade aren't very good. Basically, most people who do this will either (a) become lost in a false personna and function rather well, or (b) will be generally seen as incompetent.

LADY LUXIE said...

X:DELL:

oh' dwats..that's exactly what I'm afraid off..either way..I'd feel like an idiot..sigh!...

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Love this post. You have such a vivid beautiful way of saying things. You are definately unique :)

tea
xo

Princess Banter said...

You definitely are the one and only luxie :) the very special luxie at that!

LADY LUXIE said...

Tea: Oh' hello hello!..Been to your bloggy' home this morning...what an inspiration...and thank you for the uplifting words! :>

Princess BAnter: ello' there!..How's everything eh?..Thanks for the tweety uplift..will zoom to your place now!

Jac said...

OMG ! I drifted in after reading your comment with a jolly good smile from princess banter blog aaaaaaaaaand here I am going back with a laugh.

Thank you lady for giving me a boost from my wobbling mood.

:)))))

LADY LUXIE said...

jac: welcome to my blog! and glad to have made you smile :>

foam said...

i hate it when i get that line...

you'll rock just being who you are.
you'll probably outrock the previous person anyway..
xo

alison said...

*handing Lady Luxie a bunch of flowers and bows*

you are perfect as you are!

Keshi said...

LUXIE...I lux that name...I mean i 'luv' it :)

Keshi.

LADY LUXIE said...

Foam: sniif! sniif!..thanks for the constant uplift...I think I'll turn that phrase into a mantra...

"i rock..i rock...i rock.."

Alison: UUuuuu..could smell that...wonderful fluffy sweet scent...there..placed the flowers in pink clear crystal vase...thank you...

KEshi: It does have a lilting clink sound to it...I love the name too!...Glad you do as well!