Tuesday, June 12, 2007

All I truly Want


This might have to be a last post for the week. I don't know if I'll manage to be back before Saturday..probably not....and the week after is just loaded as well. I can't wait for it to whizz' by so I'd find myself back here.

I love it here..it feels like home...
I wonder if that's wrong or eccentric of me...to love it here...

I feel like Alice in Wonderland when I enter this portal...
Alice faced a blue door didn't she?...
Faced with the proposition of whether to peek out or stay inside...
Faced with having to search for the blue door key

....Much like my life I guess...I face a lot of blue doors....Doors of possibilities....

However, I hold only this one chosen key to my reality....

Sometimes in my life... I feel like I have so much love to give..yet don't know how to...
I have words in my mind that fail to be expressed....
embraces I feel too shy to shower...
and compliments kept to myself...

I am not frigid.....oh' by far am I not!....
Only I know this isn't the me yet..
I still have so much inside to give....

Sometimes......

Sometimes I feel that this body I have is an ocean different from who really lives inside me...

In moments of solitude I feel an essence of me as pure...
yet my mind and the rest of this skin covers it up...
encases...
imprisons even....

And when..when an opportunity to do something kind comes my way...
usually my physical eyes are too busy to see...
my physical senses too preoccupied.....

and I am diminished somehow....

This work I do right now..it is important...but leaves no lasting imprint to my soul......
I want to live from inside...do things from what is pure inside of me...
All the time...
But how is that possible?...

I want to feel people..
I want to understand the beauty of our differences....
I want to discover you as you and not from the standpoint of me or of the world...

I want to understand the flowers
and converse with the sun

I want to sit with the moon
and hear it's ancient secrets...

I want to discover what only those whose eyes were uncovered have....

I feel there is so much more to this life than what I can perceive....


6 comments:

Hann said...

Wow, what can I say, you are so so much already! But ... why not go for it!
Hope your week turns out great!

..................... said...

"Sometimes in my life... I feel like I have so much love to give..yet don't know how to...
I have words in my mind that fail to be expressed....
embraces I feel too shy to shower...
and compliments kept to myself..."

i feel exactly the same way most of the time.
and look here, luxie..
i had to copy your comments because i couldn't find the words to say that i felt the same way you do.

Princess Banter said...

Awwwwww come back soon darling! I'll miss you! And of course you're home here :) We all are... :) Hell better than the real world sometimes...

alison said...

yes, i am finding my path too, there is more to us than just skin deep, oh... besides the internal organs.. hahaha... the essence of this being, the purity of love that risides within. may we find the channel to share... you are already sharing your love with us here, so don't stop blogging! :)

foam said...

luxie,
for some reason an email i sent to you bounced back. could you email me so i can see what went wrong?

Gargoyle said...

Thank you for your birthday wishes.

And from one who has seen with eyes uncovered... who has seen through the eyes of many, and has experienced so many different point of view...

Sometimes it is better not to have seen at all.

All you can do is take what you have seen, the good and the bad, and use it to enrich your own life.