While rummaging in my closet last night for a book I could only vaguely remember putting there, I unexpectedly found an old diary of mine from ten years ago.
Pleasantly surprised and totally curious, I flipped through the crispy black lined pages and was, in an instant, oddly led to March 12, 1998. This is what I scraggly scribbled a few days after turning 30.
- Success for me is the ability, or my ability to live each day positively. I have dreams and goals and ideas of what I'd like to be 20, 30, 50 years from now. However, what I would label success to be is to live each day joyfully, positively and actively. I would think a day successful when I have been able to do all my responsibilities at home..from taking care of my children, to taking care of husbands needs, to taking care of my home and at the same time, having enough qualiy time with myself.
Success would be my ability to be calm in the course of pursuing each day, not yelling or even thinking negative thoughts specially about family and friends. Being able to give inspiration and compassion towards each person I meet would be a remarkable area of success for me. Getting organized and disciplined enough to do the things I truly love to do like reading, or writing, or planting, or even praying...would make me a success in my own eyes. -
Reading this came as a jolt of surprise for me, especially considering that today, April 21 is Hubbzy's birthday and tomorrow, the 22nd is our 20th year of being together and 19 years of being married.
This entry ten years ago was written by quite a young me. Honestly, I am amused. Amused to find, that in a general sort of way, this is how my days have been...but not always so...And this is how I am...but not quite so....so much has happened in between.
The sheer innocence of how I wrote this..the conviction and the simplicity of it all hit me full blast...and I smiled at the memory of a long time ago...because in the flurry of days and the riot of responsibility( ies) and the hunt for needing things I have somehow forgotten really...what success.... real success truly meant for me.