Kate started it!…A question that has been lingering in my mind…and yours ( I bet) so boldly pronounced by a gorgeous bloggy lady…A question whose answers are as provocatively varied and interesting as the question itself…
”can men and women be just…you know….just friends…platonic?”
I’m referring to somebody you innocently meet for coffee…chat with in person….Somebody whose candid reaction is without doubt totally true.
I don’t want to give a definite yes – no answer here …because I don’t know as well. The only male friend I meet for coffee is me’ Hubz BUT… believe me, our friendship is a zillion miles from platonic!
Sooo…I’m talking here about friends I don’t have to marry…I mean …friends you just have fun with…..I mean ( drats… I’m not sounding right!... ) people who don’t wear lipstick that you can just genuinely laugh with and talk to and understand and appreciate and maybe just sit down comfortably beside with, the way you would a lady friend.
And yes, speaking of lady friend, the husband of a lady friend of mine once sat down beside me. I was the preschool teacher of his daughter and so naturally, I had to give him a report on his daughter’s progress in my class. He was the last parent to arrive, so I allowed him to candidly talk along, him telling me about the antics of his children and me liltingly laughing .
I don’t know at what point it transpired but…I suddenly felt consciously uneasy …aware that we were alone in the classroom and the building was practically bereft of people. I fairly think it was when he subtly inched closer and started to "share" how he and Sheila were having ummm problems….It felt different, no longer friendly, no longer light…he wasn’t saying anything wrong…...it was a look he had…it was the tone of his voice……A feeling…an intuition.........an undercurrent of pins creepily crawled through the back of my spine…
I somehow managed to politely disengage myself from this friendly tit for tat’… telling him it was late and I really had to be going. He was slightly embarrassed I could tell…but….I guess it served him right. Then and there I decided…really…..men aren’t capable of friendship…..real honest to goodness friendship with someone of the opposite sex. They always go overboard…...always…why? Is it a cultural machismo thing?
But perspectives can change… so now, I simply don’t know. I read some of the male bloggies, and I see how deeply profound, sensitive and caring men’s insights can be…a lot of them do inspire me…..
How regretful it is however, that in reality, friendships can often be so……… gender bordered.
In my world at least…I don’t know in yours….
Just thinking anyway…