Sunday, November 19, 2006

Incoherent Connection

I’m a big girl now….ain’t I….all grown up at 38…I don’t feel grown up…Sometimes I feel 11….Sometimes I think I’d want to ride on a swing…A tire swing..It was nice being 11.....I faintly remember an 11 year old me….I would have been a nice friend to me….if I knew me when I was 11…I don’t remember 10…or 9…oh’ yeah I do…

When I was 9 I stole money from my mama’s wallet…wanted a Sanrio pencil case…didn’t have one…so I stole money…how sad that I had to do that....Sometimes I wish the 38 year old me could warp and talk to the me of 7 or 8 or 9 or 10 or 11 or 12…or 17…lots to tell…

I’m quiet….a lot of times…sometimes though I can be too loud…what a paradox of me I am… I ate BabyRuth chocolate…and an apple…

drank a glass of pineapple juice….

and everything is quiet except for the hum of the ref…

and a dog barking in the distance …..

love was good…

but the orange roses in front of me are wilted….they smell pretty…


quarter moon hanging...

three slices of French bread on a plate…

need to boil an egg….

exhausted...

I can hear the car…

Havta’ get up…

This isn’t blogging…..I live here…

Me

( pre-written blog.....early on this week after working hours and hours to no end….still working…)

14 comments:

Hliza said...

Hi Lux, I finally put your new link in my blog..should have done that for ages! Hey, I stole a box of coloured pencils from the trainee teachers renting a room in my grandma's house when I was 6! The colours look so fascinating and there were so many of them in that large box! When mom found them in my bag, I said I picked them up from the ground! Such a stupid answer for a stupid deed...Mum knew straight away ang apologize to the teachers..Ha ha ha..if my daughter had done that now, I might cane her..he he..

X. Dell said...

(1) Pre-written's okay, if we haven't seen it.

(2) To me, you're still a kid. Hell, you're even younger than my baby sister.

(3) Sometimes the goodness that people have comes from reflection upon their past transgressions. Had they not erred earlier, they would have erred more seriously later. I'm sure that your mom has forgiven you for what took place in 1977. Perhaps the last thing to do is to forgive Lux.

Anonymous said...

I really like this post. I like them all, but this one Lux - it's more you than you are. Does that make sense? It captures your style that I have come to enjoy so completely. Nice, very nice.

And don't be too hard on that nine year-old you - perhaps she just need the 38 year-old you to lean upon.

Mike

Anonymous said...

luxie,
can i come by your house and smell those wilted roses?....and share tales of childhood fauxpas'?.....i'll bring a bottle of wine..

Anonymous said...

great post

SJ said...

And we are glad you live here.

Anonymous said...

" a breezy sigh..."

The 4th daughter in my family was born when I was ll- "Kelly"-
She was the first baby I ever really loved...and her baby (Kaitlyn) played at my house last week :)

I was in 6th grade-and we were so poor. I made a friend that year who has stuck by me for 26 years- now...we speak several times each week- or email, or IM.

I still love to find a good tree swing and soar up into the air...and eat a chocolate bar- and not worry if it will show up on my hips later :)
And I still love Kelly- my baby sister...and the 2 brothers who would come later~

And sometimes I don't want to be grown up either...but here we are :) Can I bring a bottle of wine too and join you and Schaumi? :) LOL- I didn't drink wine when I was 11, but I tried my first beer when I was 12- and I thought it was awful! :)

Anonymous said...

lady lux, thanks for come to my blog.

Hey, i am 26 but never proud to be 26, i prefer my self as 16, even when i am 16 i am just a rebelleious punk kid, but i love the way i can be playful and just be my self.

Lady Lux said...

aw' shucks..I prooomised myself I wouldn't bloggy' dee doo' hee!hee!..Said I would focus on my work...buuuut...what's a little break before starting to work eh?!...

Amira... ( long name hee!hee!)..I was the ultimate "punk" when I was in high school..yaah!..You shoulda' seen my hair then!..you know..the one where you cut it short then have "spikes" stnding up..and a long kinda' mane like dangling from the back...my teachers didn't know what to make ov' it..ha! ha!ha!...I was kinda' like trying to be myself then...oh' yeah'..welcome to my bloggy' home!

Mayden: oh'..bad..bad girl..tried a beer whe n you were 12..lol!...In my senior year we would have these parties where a real gunk of gin was poured on a punch bowl..remember the Billy Idol days..and everything New Wave of the 80's...that was sooo cool!..Yaaah!...I'll never get over the music of the 80's...oh' theat punch..ow..gave us a really heady...um' punch...took all my effort not to drawl when my mom would let me in at 2 am...he!he!he!..I had my first whisky when I was 17...ha!ha!ha!

SJ: yup' you can come over for dinner!

Buterfly: Thanks girl!:->

schaumi: Mayden will be joining us with a Pyrex bowl of something really good....I'll do the pasta and get good bread from the deli...You guys should hear what I did to my 4th grade teacher!!..:->

Mike: ow' geez' ( blush blush!..hee!hee!) thanks...compliments re my style comin' from somebody with the spirit of writing gives me a real boost. Hope everything's great with you :->

X:DELL: As always...your comments made me think deep. Maybe there are some things in me I haven't forgiven yet..or let go ov'..I was thinkin about that last night..And my next post will allude to what you said...thanks :-)

Hliza: " You picked it up from where?????!!!"..LOL!..you should've met me when we were kids. Could've given you a more colorful tip...(something bizarre)on what to say.

And the caning there...welp'..I got that!..:))

now I gotta' work!...smiley dee doo' everyone!

Anonymous said...

Hi Lady Lux - thanks for visting & commenting on my blog. I am so glad you did - I am off to have a long look at yours ! blessings & bliss ~

Anonymous said...

that would be fun, lux, to all sit together!
you have a great week.
xoxo
On Thursday is Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S. So, I'm wishing you a happy thanksgiving regardless of when or if ya'll celebrate a holiday like that.

Anonymous said...

you have such a great way of writing Lux! Its romantic yet fun all in the same vein!

I was at a party in March and road a tire swing for what seemed like hours but was more like 10 minutes! It was scary then AWESOME!! The rope was so long and the yard so big that I could stand on the tire and really feel like I was flying (no worries I had my skirt tucked!) yea and after I went THEN all the other girls wanted to try it... hehehe

I think one of the things I like about you is that you dont take yourself too seriously. There are a few people I have found while blogging that I can really relate to and you are one of them. Our circumstances may be totally different, but your posts often reflect my thoughts/feelings.

Thanks!

cityfarmer said...

I'll be visiting here from now on...so many bloggers so little time...thank you so much for your visit and your lovely words...always curious how you ended up at cityfarmer...I also host another site with all of my custom designs which are for sale

http://stuffintheburbs.blogspot.com

you can link from my side bar of favs...take a peek...

Anonymous said...

What a sweet post! I surfed in from Little Lamb's blog (is that ok?)

I was going to say that you should never lose your child-like quality. We grow old, become adults, and get all serious and nervous and move so fast. What a crock. I want to be more like a kid, and unlearn all of the serious things "society" has taught me.

Being a kid rocks! ;)