Friday, November 10, 2006

The Ripple Effect

Example is not the main thing in influencing others;
It is the only thing
- A. Schweitzer
I remember X Dell said something about 900 ( or 800?) pound gorilla. How something like this creature could be looming just in front of you, but you pretend it doesn't exist. How this mad driven gorilla starts ripping apart your belongings...you see the destruction around but pretend it isn't happening..or just passively wonder why things are falling apart..refusing to face the gargantuan reality of something that needs to be faced..settle....until it's about too late.
I refuse to be such...to be faced with something but pretend it isn't there.
No, no..
I'd much rather face my fear..or face something that I'd done wrong..to face myself and tell myself I'm lying..or pretending or stealing..or being phony..or being mean..Part of my personal growth is to bear the pain of my dour reality... if it means I'd change for the better....I like the thought of evolution..my soulful evolution from light to light...It's not an easy journey..and I've only just began..but I know the path will be fulfilling..
My surroundings are constantly teaching me how to be a better me....Juts by merely observing other people's lives, I am spared from countless heartaches.
Take for example....
The owner of the school where I teach is in hot..hot water. Volcanic eruption of bad luck!...Not surprising really...I've seen it coming years ago...warned her..to no avail..She's a friend...I've been with her for six years...I've seen the school rise from humble beginnings to its bigger stature..I've worked hard and been a part of its rise...I have also observed how its owners spend money..make financial decisions..buy this and that and what not..tsk!..tsk!..
And now..now..they are in deep financial trouble....
So much trouble that the property on which the school is housed could soon enough be swallowed in by the bank...Not to mention millions in debt owed to this person and that...checks of a closed bank account floating in people's hands....and lies..lies..lies...A phone call with me hearing her say she is in one place where she isn't..just to avoid creditors..and the worse...not telling her husband the real real score of her financial distress...
And 've been telling her on and on and on..to be open about money matters to her husband...You're losing your soul I told her....but she laughed me off and said that she can manage through her wits....
and now..now..things are catching up....it's sad.
It's a school and the people who run it should have at least a certain amount of recognizable integrity....I'm not perfect..oh' the bugaboo things I've done...but I don't lose my self worth when I admit I'm in the wrong...I was much prouder when I was younger..but my foolish ways are shedding off now that I know better...now that I like myself...
I wish there were something I could do for her...I fear her marriage..her family..her everything will go dunk...A person may be good with words...but it's the example of our actions that speak the truth...
I'm being watched...by my friends..by my students..by my family....
my actions ripple in other people's lives....

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like she made her bed.....and now she has to lay in it.
....what a cliche....but sometimes they come in mighty handy.

I do know it is easier to see other folkses gorillas though than our very own. She probably ought to go to one of these places that help people consolidate debt which can then be payed off monthly in manageable chunks.

Love the photo of your family, btw.

SJ said...

How unfortunate this should happen.

The funny thing about 300 pound gorillas is when you acknowledge them loose like 200 pounds.

Lady Lux said...

Schaumi: What a way to put it. You are so right. She had been prepping up her bed for quite some time..little by little by little..in small seemingly insignificant ways...and now things are just going haywire...and it affects the people around her..even me. I want to be a real friend and help her out..but she seems deaf to advice...both personal and professional. I'm afraid I can see lawsuits in the offing..not good.

And other people's gorillas are easy to see..so true....so true..so true..

and those are my two wacky' funny boys in the pic.

SJ: I like shedding off pounds!!:->

Anonymous said...

"now that I like myself"...

Hubby and I were talking tonight about how unsure we were of ourselves when we were younger- and of how much more I like "me" today than I did 20 years ago.
I love that quality in you- in most of the bloggers I enjoy reading...who like themselves more today than they did yesterday.
We are a work in progress-
and we do affect the people around us...even ones we don't realize are watching.

Hope all is well with you this weekend :) It's been a long week for me- I'm happy it's behind me.
My kids are with friends this weekend...the bubble bath with hubby was wonderful :)

Lady Lux said...

all is well...and the sky is resplendant with little twinkly stars tonight...

and yes..we are a workin progress..sometimes pain comes along with the progress but when something beautiful comes out ofit it's always all worth it...

And it struck me what you said..even the people we don't realize are watching are affected by our actions..i always try to remember that...

bubble bath?..hee!hee!..I am sooo just envious...don't have a bathtub..BUT..my shower is goood!..he!he!

X. Dell said...

I'm curious as to whether or not your country has bankrupcy laws, and if so how much they may or may not protect. Your friend obviously made a mistake in not telling her husband about her financial distress, especially if his finances are involved too (once again, I don't know anything about Philipino jurisprudence, so I wouldn't know if creditors may legally seize his property).

I would tend to think that starting a school is an honorable thing to do. The fact that she undertook that task, and the fact that you refer to her as a "friend," leads me to think that she is a decent person. Money problems, however, sometimes happen, especially when you see zeros for the first time and aren't aware of how little that money is.

More important, I'm hoping your school survives. I'm sure this is something on the forefront of your mind, right now, especially since the school has had recent problems with a touchy-feely teacher and gangs.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes people get so wrapped up then they become that wrapping around them. Hope all works out.

Anonymous said...

the ripple effect. my husband has always spoken of this since we met. each and everything we say and do has an effect that radiates - like a stone hitting the water.

we all have a choice. even when we think we don't we do. its a tough position to be placed in - witnessing someone's (very devastating) dishonesty. not sure i could be an accessory to someone's lies ...

when i watch people lie to others - i think, hmmm ... are they lying to me too?

oftentimes in situations such as this its the dishonesty that's really the most hurtful and offensive. no problem is too great that a married couple can't sit down together and solve it - TOGETHER. except the problem about which one has lied.

hope you are well ... :^B

Anonymous said...

How could one person have so much responsibility? It is time for her to share, to open up and admit to her husband that she needs help - perhaps it is too late, it sounds like it may be - but I hope not. It seems she had the best intentions and built the school up from "humble beginnings" - as you say, this affects so many people.

Lady Lux said...

Sue: Oh' you don't know how many times I've urged her to just go open up everything...but no she won't....she won't listen to me or to her other friends who mean well...Ho ccould one person have so much responsibility?..I have soooo asked her that question...like why are you hugging everything that needs to be done?..

When I was really involved in the school..I took care of administrative functions as well as the curriculum itself...like almost running the whole school...she took care of financials..then I slowly discovered the real score with taxes and bank loans and all the othere debts...so I slowly eased out..she couldn't find a suitable english teacher for this academic year so I agreed to teach in the mornings only...I have my own plans..my own business..and.. I just find it appaling that now that I'm not so into the picture..everything that I helped work for is slowly sinking like sand...I think it's too late..this problem..even if she finds a temporary fix..will linger on for years to come because it's a character flaw issue...that doesn't want to be faced..

Reefer: I'm no saint. I have issues with myself as well..but I try to be ashonest as I can specialy concerning money matters..and it is painful to see someone lie to someone else in front of me..I bet..she says something about me when my back is turned as well..

Butterfly: Hi!....That's a good thought. The only wrapping I want to be wrapped in is someone's arm..he!he!

X: Not familiar with our bankcrupcy laws...all I know is.if you owe the bank money...like you've got a housing loan..and miss out big time on payments...they ( zee bank ) gets to take in our property...

she is a decent person..or was..or still is..probably...I've seen her morph from being a happy simple person to this..this person who has nothing else in mind except money...it's sad...gawd..and I have to face all these tomorrow...which is probably the today you're reading this..shucks...if it weren't for the kids...just the kids...I'd rather be in this place I really love...sipping cappuccino with a good book on an early Monday morning...sigh!


huzziez' one and all...