Thursday, February 08, 2007

the friendly advantage

Now I dunno' what to do about this...I feel baddy'.....baddy'....baddy me'...

Before I go on however....I have ta' say that at least I feel......rested........And my spaced out floating bloating brain is slowly landing back to earth......whew!....Like for a while there it felt as if the whole of my head went amok and decided to detach from the rest of my body and just bubble bubble up and down wherever the breeze whisps it to go....snooks...

And gee' how sweet Mayden...sniff!..sniff!..to the flowers your hubzy' gave you...(um' in case somebody who lives with with me reads this....yellow...pink..red FLOOOWERS...um' I know I used to say why bother with flowers so you've been giving me plants for valentine's day...but um'...the last plant you gave me - well, you know what happened to that - and I can change my mind...about NoT bothering with the flowers..so...anyway...oh'..water color materials will do to..yah!!)...and I just so felt comforted with what you said..

and Schaumi..nya hu!hu!hu!..you touched me' heart..sniff!..felt like you were really here with your doggie in tow....

and Hliza..if you're reading this...thanks for being around...

and X Dell..he!he!..still can't get over your stories about the women you meet..hee!hee!...

N'ways..so here's the thingy...

This friend ov' mine hasn't paid me yet....It's been overdue since December..I privately tutor her kid ( ADHD..so it's a challenge...)...and I know the boy has improved...I already told her last week that I couldn't possibly take on her son anymore because I'm working on things that take up most of my time...So..I was hoping to get paid....no payment...

Then a couple of days back she calls and asks if I could please just coach her son for a test the boy will be taking this Saturday.....She makes no mention of the money she owes me...and instead does the usual tirade of how difficult life is for her what with having four kids in school and how blessed I am...and that I only have 2 kids and bla'..blah'...high praises to me...

And I smile and say....it's okay I understand...

But the thing is..when I'm alone..I get kinda' irritated inside..just a bit...I feel that I'm being taken advantage ov'....and that because we are kinda' friends she takes that it's okay to reeeeaaally prolong payment....

I'm going to ask her for the money later...but I hate it when I have to do this....It's just sooooo.....ungraceful.....I'm not in want....but I intend to use that money to purchase gifts...

What bothers me really is that...she's a friend...or is she?...

9 comments:

Hliza said...

Auww..that's not a nice thing to do to a friend! I think you should just say it out..maybe in a nice way that you really need that payment. Sometimes people forget or take friends for granted. I believe you'll feel better after that..

Hannelie said...

That's so weird our DJ's just discussed it on the radio this morning, if it's friends do you pay or not or expect to or not.
One guy called in and said if they ask you to do something that's your normal job then he think it's fair to also expect payment, if friends don't wanna exchange money then atleast they can buy you a nice bunch of flowers or champain? I hate that feeling too, I helped a 'friends' child out with extra swimming lessons too and never got the so called money she said she'll give, I didn't wanna ask, bad me.
But ... in the end the friendship ended because I didnt'wanna be taken for granted or advantage of ... some vultures out there you know. I hope it all works out for you though. Good luck.

X. Dell said...

You're asking me if she's really a friend? Sometimes friends are needy. I understand that some people reach a nadir in their lives. When friends abandon them, people label them "false friends." But I think you're coming to the point of understanding why rats flee a sinking ship.

At some point, your uncompensated time will be a burdon to you, if you in fact need the money--or the time. Acceptance or rejection of a plea for help is subsequently up to you.

Darlene said...

Relationships are tough...
I hope for the best because that is what you deserve.

smiles and hugs
XOXO Darlene
:)

LADY LUXIE said...

Hliza: yupitty' will do that!..It's the baing taken for granted that's hit me here...

Darlene: Hello!..welcome to me' bloggy' home..and thank you for the kind wishes!

X:DELL: ye'..like I was thinkin'...my time is valuable and I got lots to do ..I need the time..and I want her to pay me...I met her initially because her son was my student..everything was a professional arrangement at first...we became friendly with each other along the way and that's when she started goofing off with the payments...She is far frm being needy or poor...or in want..She lives in a nice house and is able to pay her other obligations...so why not me?

LADY LUXIE said...

Hannelie:...I wish I heard that discussion....veeery interesting..I think a real friend should be even more sensitive when it comes to money issues...I am...

..good manners dictate even so...

I give "free lessons" as well...I love teaching kids and would do it for fun..However...when matters are clearly specified that what I am doing is with pay..I get irked when payment due is ignored...sigh!..And the thing is..I just smile and say it's okay....when it's not okay inside of me..which makes me some sort of a phoney..and I hate this phoney feeling...which is not okay..(?)

Novel Nymph said...

It's difficult. Would you feel comfrotable saying to your "friend" what you said to us? What does your mind tell you is going on? Listen to it...

schaumi said...

she's a user. and sometimes we have friends/acquaintances that are users.
a big clue..
whining about having 4 kids and how hard it is and telling you how blessed you are, etc.
i could almost hear her ...

how much you want to be used is up to you...:)
however, i do believe it's not right to put you in such an awkward position.

LADY LUXIE said...

Novel and Schaumi:..hmmmm.. wouldn't say it the way I said it right here..but more or less..I did give her the talk..like..really sweet..with.."I'm sorry I have to ask for this but..would you have the payment from a couple of months ago ready?..and um'....last month's bill was due..um'...15 days ago...oh'..oh'...okay..no problem.."...

she said she would have the money ready by next week...sigh!..I did manage to wiggle my way out of coaching her son..Don't get me wrong...I do like teaching the kid...but...really...we had an agreement...

of course she gave me the " how fortunate I am speech.."..ye'...