Thursday, March 22, 2007

Queen Nefertiti of the gongs...

"Monet's Garden"
- Marie Gallager

Why thank you Kate..I take that as a special compliment. I do want to think of my "soul" as good. My physical body sometimes belies the truth...Having a mind of its own, it acts more in pompous compulsion rather than constant awareness...more in reaction than knowing conviction to the truths which my soul carries...

I stand on the premise that every person is inherently good..the soul being pure and chaste from the taint of greed and corruption in its inception to this world.....Every human being must feel back this soul, if one is to find..discover..or breed purpose out of existence....

The soul feeds on purposeful silence I'm beginning to discover...because....


Walking in the mall yesterday, I was struck by how noisy my surrounding was. Like a gank of foul breath wafting from all around, that noise left me momentarily swirled...I hied off inside the bookstore but no solace was to be found...A young boy of about nine was belligerently insisting on something which his irritated mother refused to buy. All eyes where surreptitiously on them as the child in the verge of a budding tantrum tried to coerce his mother to give in...I don't remember my boys ever having done that to me...When I say no..I mean no...My husband and I never tolerated such behavior...

After twenty minutes, I saw the mother holding on to a graphic novel of some superhero...seems like the child won out..I could see it in his smile...It's not easy to be a parent...I felt for the mother..I wish she held out from the noise...

Noise...noise...

A week ago I had guests over here...lady friends..and we did what lady friends do...we ate...had coffee...laughed....and talked...Yes..talk....talk about...people..

Struck me how noisy everything was..the laughter..the words...noise. Oh' but my friends are dear to me of course...It's nOt them that I'm pointing at..it's the conversations we keep. Why do conversations seductively gravitate towards other people's predicaments..circumstances....As if talking about the problems of others somehow places the talker in a higher pedestal in the hierarchy of ignorance...

I found it disconcerting and though my smile was there with my lips making wanton movements and guttural sounds emanated of it's own volition from my throat.......my soul was whispering, " shut up oh' high and mighty queen Nefertiti of the squealing monkeys...go on..go on...oh' gooo give your holy opinion about Arleene's ( not real name..don't worry..) new fling..yaaah!"

...And just at that precise moment.... just before my lips were about to regurgitate venomous puddles of mire, I grabbed a hefty forkful of chocolate decadent something and shoved everything inside my mouth....

Stacked and loaded.... my lips pursed sealed..

And so...just an hour ago....I declined an invitation for another meet with a different set of girls....noise I presume would welcome me when I get there...

My soul is asking for silence...and if it means having to be without those I am used to laugh with..just for a time..then so be it...I will not subject my body to the presence of physical gongs.....Words should be as chimes..soothing..fulfilling..nurturing...cradling..and life giving....

The maya birds are chirping outside my window.....sweet and pleasant....calling

...It seems like they have something to say to me...

Perhaps...they agree....

I have to see...

8 comments:

X. Dell said...

Your friends make themselves sound ignorant when they badmouth others, eh? That's why you'll never hear me repeating gossip. You have to listen close the first time.

Kids throw tantrums because they are aware of (1) the pressure their parents face from other grownups who can't stand all the noise, and (2) that fact that it works. I wonder, do kids throw the same tantrums at home?

LADY LUXIE said...

oh'..it sounds horrid that I make my friends make themselves sound "ignorant"..I'm thinking what sort of a friend am I to cast them in this light...

but..if I were to be really honest...yes..they as well as I when I engage in such conversations do sound ignorant..so base..like is there nothing else worth talking about that we have to center on others...

I would really much rather talk about ..um'..me ( a bit egocentric eh?)...how I am..what I think..what I feel..rather than talk about someone's perceived wrong decisions or questionable actions...

I would also much rather talk about them...I mean..I would rather that my friends open up about their own circumstances and troubles or heartaches or joys or questionings than..as I have said center on others who are not present...

It's not as if conversations are vulgar in their inquest of other people's lives...Words are masked in the light of concern or worry..or care...hah..yeah'...

and really..i do think that these friends of mine who talk about others...most certainly..talk about ...me.

..and I don't do that...

( Although I did talk about you..and the conspiracy theory blog you do...I got polite smiles and blank stares...oh'..and a question that went.."how do you know he's real?"...)...

and with the tantrum..true..true...but my kids know.."the look"..they wouldn't dare throw a tantrum in public...at home is a different thing....not so much with the tantrums....more with the fights on who gets to use the pellet gun this time or how come he got more ice cream...etc.etc..

course'..the kids are teenagers now....situations differ..though there was this thing about a missing ipod and who borrowed it without asking for permission....gawd'..drives me and my hubby nuts!

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Silence is neccessary. I haven`t had much time either to catch up and have enjoyed catching up at your blog. Sending prayers for Monica.

tea
xo

kate said...

Oh you are very welcome... not that I told you something you didnt already know, but it is cool that that feeling can come through writing all the way across the world! I really wonder if you and I will ever meet in person. It would be really amazing!

As for gossip. I would not be telling the truth if I said I didnt gossip. I do. I am sure I sound silly (although I rarely am mean about it) but there is really a lot of information to be gathered in a good gossip session.

I think that Dells comment is interesting but in truth, people (especially women) have been 'gossiping' together for centuries! If you go with the people are inherently good theory (and I try to surround myself with good/positive people), then it become a way to discuss friends/loved ones, problems and solutions. Often gossip leads to actions and that is the bit that I enjoy.

For example... I was technically gossiping with a gf yesterday about another friend. The woman in question was acting strange. On top of that I got an email from her husband saying he was going to be out of the office for 3 days. I knew his dad had been ill... turns out he died (but 3 weeks ago!!), and the family is having a real time of it. We talked over a plan of action for supporting the family... and also for what our gf would probably be needing right now. I get to do some things now for her and my gf will do other things for her... she will know that we were 'talking about her' but... in the end it was with love. Thats what matters! So there is my long winded thought on gossip! =]

Dont get me started about kids! I will say that I have the count to 3 (sometimes only the fingers have to go up! lol)

Bardouble29 said...

What a thoughtfully written post. I too get tired of "nosy" and want to lock myself away with no phone, TV or people and read my favorite book. Thank you for the comment left on my blog. I enjoyed reading yours and will be back to read more.

foam said...

x.dell not real, huh? that's kind of funny.
silence without and within can sometimes be a rare commodity. i so do treasure it when i find it.
people will talk about other people. that doesn't mean it's always gossip.
but just talking about what other folks are doing can get tiresome and superficial. i think that folks like to talk about other people because it's easier than dealing with issues within themselves or the issues of the folks they are actually conversing with.

LADY LUXIE said...

Tea: ey'..nice to see you!..Love your bloggy home...and yes...will extend love to Monica from you..thanks!

kate:...there's gossip then there's gossip...Ah'..I love hearing about other people's lives..interesting..and harmless...but there are moments when you just know that isn't just talk anymore..it's become..malicious..And that is what isn't welcome in my world..Oh'..yeah..I've engaged in it...

And you are so right...there is a lot of info to be learned..but kudos to you and your friend for doing something special with the information you gleamed..I'm in a situation right now though where I've learned about something I wish I didn't get to know..kinda' weighs down on me this little bit of info I got..

I'm keeping mum about it..won't give it away..won't do anything..explosive gossip....

will hop on to your bloggy home in a while...happy to see ya' here!!

BArdouble29: welcome to me' bloggy' home:>

Foam: how does he look like?..my friends asked me...( about X:DELL) Well..um'..err....

"tiresime and superficial"..bingo!..those are the words!..That's what I meant..to just keep on talking about others is..exactly that...

X. Dell said...

I was real when I woke up this morning.