Huka Huka Glory

If I could Crayola graph my "calmness" quotient for the past week, Saturday would register a screeching plunge...plunge, plunge, (!) into the steep abyss nothingness of this world's peacefulness. In short, I lost it. And I'm not talking about my virginity tho' that would make for quite an interesting story he!...Someday ya! What I lost was more of my sanity.

Blew my top...biiiig time ( siiiiiiiiiigh)...I hate..hate..hate it when that happens. I can be like a dormant volcano looking all pristine gloooooey smiley and just looking so Fuji zen and Everest strong in all my huka huka glory'..theeeen it hits! Twisted magma simmers and boils and grunts and pushes and.....

Kaboooom'...eeeeeyaaayaahhhh!

Gawd'...it's just entirely darn frustrating to set out on deciding that I won't let things get into me and so when it does...gawd' it's just so hard to forgive myself. Sniffy' sniffity me....

But that was yesterday morning folks. Past. Today is a different story. The lunch I prepped was well gobbled up and everything is a drizzle of laughing moments once again. Crazy life really.

And I'm grateful to realize that ye'..I've done a major brave thing....Well' two....One is - I'm driving again..( clap! clap! clap!) It's been quite a while since I've been behind the wheel...it's quite liberating to "not be so scared"...Driving in Manila..wow!...

Another brave thingy' for me is that I actually...actually..attended my first yoga session last Friday! I didn't just imagine and plan..I actually did it!! I met new people too! Whoohee'!! Stepped out of me' comfort zone to dare streeeeetch ( shucks' it wasn't easy) and talk'. It may not be such a big deal to others..kinda' funny lame really if you think about it..but it's something for me.

Another week is coming.....There's this zingy' staticky' energy of excitement in the air....like I'm getting a sweet surprise or something really nice....Makes me giddy' wonder what other nifty new things the coming days have in store for me.

And you too!

Hmm' wonder.....wonder.....wonder...

My Friendly Alien Clerk

Cupid and whoever is the power behind April Fools decided to join forces and target me yesterday. Visualizing the horrendous traffic on this particular night, I opted that the whole family just stay home and have pizzas, wine, and of course my chicken celery soup and my home grilled peppered steak with gravy.

I was happy just fixing up the homey' and prepping up everything. My paperwork could wait till the next day I said. Even my little garden was pretty and the mild breezy weather was simply cool and divine. A Valentine day really.

Around three in the afternoon I had everything set and so I took a quick shower, pony tailed my hair, grabbed on a pair of old faded jeans and wore my favorite moss colored cotton shirt.

It was more of a stroll what I did, just admiring the neighborhood gardens as I made my way to the Homeowner's Association Office where I had a bill to settle.

So I get there and this lady clerk looks up to me from her table and I smile my usual smile and say hi. Somehow there's something about her I truly find mildly odd. I can't point out what it is except just a feeling that we give out pleasantries to each other but we couldn't care less really. I could also sense ever since that she was the "nosy" type. You know, the kind who would ask you itzy' questions to find out things in your life. There was, to me, something precisely "bogus" about her.

Well she makes small talk while I write out a check. She inquires a few detailed things about my family and I answered in a friendly way. Then she asked about my boys....their ages..where they study. I was okay with that...handed her the check...asks her to give it a thorough review for errors or anything. Theeeeeen before I could even stop speaking she goes...

"Your husband.....ummmmm'.....he is younger than you eh?....How much younger is he???..."

My lips froze into a twitch. It felt like the whole of me suicidally plunged beneath this icy frozen pond in some yet to be discovered part of Mars!!!

In my mind I was in in freeeeeeeezing country, planet, galaxy..wherever...hell probably... and this deathly foul half alien woman, with her blood shot eyes, her pointed horns, her wicked razor claws was crazily baring her bleeding fangs at me!!! A true creature of the dark who wanted fresh meat and I was dinner!

What do you do in such deathly situation oh' tell meeeh! Spear!..I needed spear!!

"Love thy neighbor," Cupid angelically whispered in one part of my soul. "Here's my arrow of looooove Luxie....you are light...florescent...incandescent.....glooooowing," stupid Cupid continues.

I madly snarled at him hissing, "It isn't an arrow I need idiot!

"I want blood!"...

"I want gut!"..

"I want innards spilling all over this "f^%&ing floooor!!!.......hear meeeeh????!!!!"

Course...in reality, I sat there maintaining my friendly composure with a plastered smile saying,
"Oh' we're pretty much the same age.."

Then she goes on with more idiotic phrases saying how women can look older than husbands because we get to do more unlike them..

I say nothing about this, thanked her for the receipt and walked home broiling in irritation and reeling in twilight. Once home I called up a friend and told her about my encounter of the third kind..Oh' gawd' we talked about great retorts I could have given back...but too late....

Thing is...just the night before I had a moment of silent meditation wherein I asked God to help me be kinder and nicer to people...to live from the inside and not to get strength from superficial sources....

Perhaps this is one way in which the universe is helping me to learn...about loving the unlovable...

Or perhaps to just accept the fact that there will always always always aaalwaaaays be stupid people around...

Idiots abound...

Aliens are among us...

It is the way I see myself that really counts.